English has always been one of my favourite subjects—the art of weaving words to make an object feel tangible, to breathe life into it with description. Losing myself in a book feels like stepping through a portal, transported to another world where reality fades, and imagination takes flight.

Then reality takes hold and brings one back to earth with a thump with those “spelling rules” when I need to write an article.

I before E

We all remember the classic chant drilled into our brains: “I before E, except after C!” or when followed by G—a rule that works most of the time, like in believe, receive, conceive, and relieve. But then English, being the mischievous little rascal it is, throws us curveballs like weird, science, efficient, and sufficient. At this point, it feels less like a rule and more like a polite suggestion! Perhaps it is easier just to use the spell check?

C or K

Figuring out when to use “C” or “K” can be a real headache. But some people take it to a whole new level—like the geniuses behind “Kreative,” “Krispy,” and “Kool-Aid.” Sure, they grab my attention, but my first thought is always, “Did they skip the day in school when they taught spelling… or did they just rebel against it entirely?”  Then I am reluctant to go into that shop, as I think if they cannot even spell correctly, I have zero confidence in their maths skills.   Who knows? I might buy a loaf of bread and walk out with either too much change or a mortgage.

The general rule of thumb: if the sound is hard, go with “K.” If it’s soft, roll with “C.” Easy, right? That’s why we have cat, circle, city, back, pick, and sock. But English loves to keep us on our toes, tossing in exceptions like car, coat, cut, chocolate, and keyboard. At this point, it’s less of a rule and more of a guessing game where the prize is confusion!

S or ES

Once we’ve conquered the easier stuff, we move on to the next boss level: figuring out when to add “s” or “es” to make words plural. The general rule? If a word ends in a vowel, slap on an “s.” If it ends in a consonant, give it an “es” for a little extra flair. Simple, right? Until English decides to break its own rules… again.

Example: bus → buses, box → boxes, quiz → quizzes, and the simple ones like cat → cats, dog → dogs.

Exception: Then English decides to have some fun—boy → boys, toy → toys (easy enough), but then woman → women, man → men because… why not make things complicated?

Silent E

Ah, the silent “e”—the sly little letter that completely changes a word’s vibe. When it shows up at the end, it stretches the vowel before it, turning cut into cute and hop into hope. Super useful, right?

Examples: hope, fine, code, dune, theme.

But, of course, English loves to keep things interesting. Enter the insurgents: have, love, give, live, the—where the silent “e” just… exists for decoration.

Magical E

Then there’s the truly magical “e,” working its transformation powers: hop → hope, tap → tape, bit → bite, rat → rate, can → cane. It’s like adding an “e” gives words a fancy upgrade!

My whole understanding of English took a wild turn when I stepped into a Montessori class in America. Suddenly, I was in a world where thru replaced through, tire rolled in instead of tyre, and program kicked programme to the curb. I raised my hand to question it, only to be met with a smile and, “That’s just how we do it here!” At that moment, I realized—I wasn’t just learning English, I was learning American. 

It felt like linguistic anarchy and sheer laziness, but I’ve since evolved—I can now switch between American and proper English without feeling personally offended… or needing a cup of tea to calm down.

Written by Anne Hall-Bowden and used with her permission.